A job interview, or two

I want a laid-back job. Not one where I have to dress up, take out my piercing, brush my hair or take a shower. You get the picture. I just want to be, well, me.



I applied at Zumiez a while back. Do I skateboard? No. Do I wear their clothes? Nope. But this place seemed like it has a pretty chill environment.

TOO BAD THEY NEVER CALLED ME.

I guess they didn't buy me singing Avril's "He was a skater boy" as I did ollies on my imaginary skateboard with my application in hand.



Just when I was thinking about calling the job hunt quits, I decided to spend more money I didn't have. I went to Ybor to go to this show and the girls and I wandered to Urban Outfitters where I looked at all the neat things saying,
"OOOOH I love that!" and
"When I get a job, I'm coming for this!" and
"This is what I want for Christmas, hint hint, nudge nudge." etc etc.

That was about the moment when the sky parted. The birds sang. Rainbows, butterflies, Starbucks (Tall Mocha Frappucinno, please)

Yes, yours truly filled out a job application for Urban Outfitters, where hardest question was, "What was the last CD you bought?"

The interview was much of the same. Until the manager dropped the bomb.

"Ok, you're stuff checks out, so now we just need you to fill out a questionaire online and if you pass...."

Profanities coursed through my head. I tried so hard not outwardly show my inward upheaval.

If you've ever had to take one of those tests, I'm sure you know what I mean.



Alright. So I may be exaggerating a little bit. It's not exactly THAT kind of test, but it may as well be!

It's one of those timed things that asks you all sorts of personal questions, all relating to the following categories:

Drug use
Stealing
Lying
Following the rules
blah, blah, blah

These tests wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't so much pressure. Especially if the test asks THE question:

"Do you lie?"

Now, how in the hell are you supposed to answer that in a "Yes" or "No" format? This question royally fucks anyone trying to get a job anywhere and should be banned.

If you answer "Yes," then whatever dipshit that put the question on the test will think that you are a liar and that you probably lied about every other question you answered on the test.

If you say "No," then the dipshit will still think that you are a liar because come on, everybody lies from time to time.

This is a lose-lose situation, people.


Luckily, this question was not on the test for Urban Outfitters.

I'll give you one guess as to what kind of corporation DOES have this absurd question.
*Cough, Victoria's Secret, Cough*

Anyway, I passed the test for Urban, and go for a second interview Thursday.

Two interviews?