Why My Job is Better than Yours: My 2006 Blog

So working at Howl-O-Scream has been the best job ever. EVER. I mean, when you audition for something that requires you to act like a zombie and turn into a werewolf, you know you're at the right place.

I'm working in the Third-Dementia. Now, a lot of people don't like this house, because it's not necessarily "scary." However, it is something different. Trippy music plays as you wear 3-D glasses and walk through the house full of crazy paintings. The house can best be described as more of an acid trip minus the acid. And at first, I have to admit I was upset that I wouldn't be dressing up as a creature of the dead or a psychotic dancer at Club Muse. But now I am very happy with being a polka-dotted ninja!



I work in the Spots Room, where I blend in with the walls and jump out and scare people. It's satisfying enough just listening to the screams, but I get paid too! I bang on the walls and shake this thing in people's ears. I get to freak people out. My dream job.

So far, there have been a mixture of good and bad experiences. But the good far outweigh the bad.
I was groped by two different girls. Yeah. They grabbed my boobs. On two seperate occasions. And one girl called me a nigger after I shoved her? yeah...........

One time this lady grabbed my arm and tried to pull me "away" with her. Guests always assume that I'm a guy. Another time, this girl bent over and asked me to spank her. HA. And an old guy tried poking my boob once. EEEW. But it's probably because the people who made the costume put a dot right on my boob. Why would they do that?? It's silly. Just because there are Polka-dots on my costume doesn't mean you can Poke a dot.
hardyharhar.

I've lost track of how many people I have made fall to the ground screaming, losing their glasses and gum.

One time this guy with a neck brace came through. I decided not to scare him. And some people come through with little kids. And babies!! Why on Earth would someone bring their baby through a haunted house?? Craziness.

I made a little boy cry.

I made a sixteen year old girl cry. "Please, NO!! I'm so scared!!! WAAAA!" Exactly what she said. She ran out crying histerically. I proceeded to laugh histerically. I'm a nice person, really.

I like to make big guys scream like little girls. Its quite gratifying when they jump two feet in the air then swear at me. I'm sorry you cant take it. Suckers!

It's annoying when people walk through and point and say "I see you!" because they usually don't even have the 3-D glasses on. If they are so brave, then why did they take the glasses off? Pansies. BTW, if you say you see me, I'm still going to scare you.

My co-workers are awesome. Period.